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May 20, 2005

Need a Laugh?

Tori forwarded this message to me...and I thought some of these were funny enough to laugh out loud. Here's my favorites :-)

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. --Drew Carey.

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it....at the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. --Jeff Foxworthy

It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married. --George Burns

Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you they should give you two weeks' notice There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp. --Bob Ettinger

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh." --Conan O'Brien

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, "Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner." --Lynda Montgomery

Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest? What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower? --Warren Hutcherson

Posted by beth at May 20, 2005 12:16 PM

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