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September 18, 2004
2 Steps Backward...2 Steps FORWARD!
Hi Again!
First of all I want to apologize for not writing so religiously. I try to write on my mainly good days, so that I don't read if I'm depressed later on :-) And on my really good days, I get so caught up I forget to write...and just so ya'll arn't worried, this week was a mainly GREAT week. So anyway, on with my story...
After work, my night started out not so good. I left work a little early to beat Friday afternoon traffic, and ended up right in the middle of it! 1.5 Hours later after some errands, I made it home to find a big roach stuck on it's back in my bathroom. I handled it OK, and spray the living hell out of it with Raid. I didn't know what to do with it, and I was scared to touch it, so I got myself ready around the roach. I decided that the best thing to do would be to leave my apartment and continue on with my evening plans...
So I left the apartment while talking on the phone to Maki. We talked as I got my mail and drove over to the main building of my apartment complex so I could go to the Apartment Happy Hour that I was planning on attend alone tonight. I had decided that it was my duty to myself to go to the happy hour and try to mingle and meet people. So I drove up, and I saw all the people, and couples holding hands, and drove right out of the parking lot. I totally chickened out. So I continued to talk to Maki, listening to her try to convince to me go. Instead I drove to the restuarant where I was supposed to meet Heidi and Nate for their birthday celebration dinner! I figured I'd just hang out in the parking lot for 30-40 mins. until they got there.
As I was driving in the parking lot, Nate called to tell me they had to cancel...So I decided OK. If I didn't go to the happy hour I'd hate myself all month until the next one came along. So I drove back to my apartment and walked from there. It was pretty neat, and it was totally crowded. So I took a deep breath, tried to act confident and walked up to the gate...I pulled on it...It wouldn't open...damn...I kept figiting with it until I saw the latch on the other side...OK phew...It was OK. So I went into the pool area. I looked around and made a BEE LINE for the tent with Free Beer, WIne and Margaritas. I went over and order myself a margarita. One guy talked to me, asking if I was in line and I responded...and got nervouse so I turned away.
I took my drink and walked about 4 feet from the tent and just kind of stood back, watching people, hoping to see if anyone else was wandering around alone. I tried to do the eye contact thing where you look at someone, smile and hope they smile back and then you know it's OK to go up and talk to them...Well that was pretty unsuccessful...and my heels were sinking into the grass. So I decided to walk around and find a chair. All these groups of people were there, talking, and listening to the live band...Finally I saw an empty chair. I asked the two guys that were sitting next to it if it was taken. They said no so I sat. They were total biker dudes... WIth the long braided beards and stuff...so I just sat...still watching hoping to see someone alone or looking lonely like me.
Well I sat there for a good 45 mins, and no one even made EYE CONTACT! Then some guy came up and asked if I needed another drink and I got nervouse so I said No, thank you! I'm all set. He walked away. THen I sat berating myself for not saying yes, because I really did want one. So I got up and went and got my own drink. Then I sat in another set of chairs...Then I started getting heartburn and feeling drunk so I thought: "Well no need to drag this out." I really didn't talk to anyone or meet anyone so I walked home. I called Seymen and kind of started crying because I didn't want to go home and deal with the dead roach.
He was too busy working, so I called my sister. By the time Jake answered I was really crying...I think he could tell, because he totally woke her up from a nap. After explaining my pitiful attempt at making new friends, and the roach situation, she coached me into disposing of the roach. I prepared myself with a Manilia envelope and a pair of socks on my hands. I scooped it up and threw it in the toilet and flushed. I was so gross I almost threw up. I was standing in my closet crying and gaging. Chrissy couldn't stop laughing. She said that she could just picture me there drunk, with socks on my hand, crying my eyes out, holding a manilia envelop trying to dispose of my roach. I guess she thought it was funny :-P
Anyway, things got much better once it was flushed. Very quickly my heart stopped racing, my palms stopped sweating, and I started calming down. Then 10 minutes later Nate called and rescheuled dinner for 9pm. So I hung up, and redid my make up (which ran when I cried) and went to dinner.
Sooo...the moral of my story here is that, and this a direct quote from Seymen's friend Nate in Rochester (who was talking to me when I was talking to Maki because she put me on speaker phone so everyone at Fuji could talk to me hehehe): "Well at least you know when things are bad, they can only get better!" Man...That was pretty deep Nate! And SOOOOO TRUE! Things are much better tonight :-p
Anyway, I'm off to bed to read my romance novel. I have to get up early enough tomorrow morning to finish my turkish homework before class. And I'm going to check out the library since I now have a library card as of last Wednesday night! (See, I'm not doing so bad. I'm busy! And my new friend Tracy from Turkish class might invite me to go out with her and her friends this weekend if they do something, because her husband Ozan is out of town on business...in Moscow then Siberia! And then Turkey!!!! Things are really good :-D
Posted by beth at September 18, 2004 12:54 AM